Letting Go of Control Led Me to the Heart of the Peruvian Jungle

We, intuitive people, know that when we truly want something - when we direct our strength, thoughts, energy and emotions toward what we want to achieve - sooner or later, that desire will be realized.

Even though it's not always clear to us how a manifestation will happen, we're told not to concern ourselves with the question of HOW, but instead to focus on the WHY, on that burning desire within us.

My whole body trembled when I imagined traveling to Peru, even though I was aware that I didn't have the money for such a trip. Still, deep inside, I felt that this journey would happen; my body kept sending me signals, and situations that helped this trip happen kept falling into place one after another.

I traveled completely alone into the unknown and letting go of plans and surrendering led me to the heart of the Peruvian jungle. Although Iquitos is a popular Amazonian jungle destination, I listened to the recommendation of the locals and went to Tarapoto - a place of high jungle, higher altitude, lower temperatures, and a location that doesn't require demanding preparation and planning like Iquitos.

Conscious Decision to Enter the Jungle

Before my trip to Peru, I knew I wanted to visit Machu Picchu and Cusco. However, a Peruvian friend had a completely crazy idea: to include the jungle in my travel plans, along with the mountains and the ocean.

Me, in the jungle? No way!

My body started vibrating again, the idea anchored itself in my mind, and the more I thought about staying in the jungle, the more anxious I became. And scared.

What do people do in the jungle? How do you spend your days there? What should I wear? Should I get vaccinated? Do those scary animals from NatGeo live there? Are there people? What will I eat?

A whole bunch of now - funny questions ran through my head. In those moments, the resistance was strong - no, there's no way I can do this.

Still, I resolved a good part of the existential questions and fears I had about this trip by booking a hotel. That was a smart decision, which further helped me to let go and explore the San Martin region, where Tarapoto is located.

Meetings That Leave a Mark

Walking back to my room, I noticed a yoga instructor preparing the open-air studio for a class. Even though I was exhausted after three days without sleep, the thought crossed my mind that it would be great to end such a day with yoga.

I stood in front of my room door and, instead of going inside, I went to the class. When I sat down on the yoga mat in front of the instructor, we started talking. It was the first time I spoke English with anyone since I landed in Peru.

The class was about to start, so I didn’t ask any more questions. However, after stretching, we continued our conversation. During our talk, she asked if I had come to Tarapoto to try ayahuasca. At that moment, I felt the desire to attend the ritual. But I decided that before ayahuasca and energy medicine experiences, I would try some other ways of developing awareness, getting to know myself and discovering my own talents and abilities.

I also met her husband, a shaman from an old shamanic family in the San Martin region. We talked about how, in the last decade, ayahuasca has become overly commercialized and that people don’t approach it seriously. Many want to try it because it’s seen as a “quicker way to solve problems.” However, everything should be approached gradually.

If you’ve never worked on yourself before, wait with ayahuasca and start first, for example, with psychotherapy. Get to know your emotions, reactions, and habits. If your soul leads you down the path of ayahuasca, embrace that experience and live it fully. But also make sure to find a real shaman.

Letting Go of Control

What made this trip different - besides the fact that it was my first time traveling to the jungle, alone! - was that I let someone else organize the jungle tour for me. There was no time for me to do research and make reservations. Right before the trip, I received the itinerary and it was challenging to surrender to plans and ideas someone else had made. I've always done that myself. I had to let go and release control, without overthinking or complicating things.

After all, I was in the jungle, where wild rules apply.

The Jungle Begins with Tarapoto

During the 30-minute drive from the airport to the hotel, I saw all sorts of things. For someone who grew up in a city, venturing into such a rural area was a real shock.

There were small, run down houses - some with open doors, some with no doors at all. People walked on the sidewalk where there was one, but usually along the main, improvised path. On the street, you could buy everything from a needle to a locomotive.

Everything was green, palm trees were everywhere, and the humidity was so intense it was almost suffocating. The temperature was over 30 degrees, there was no sun, and the sky was filled with clouds. The smells of street food mingled with the scent of jungle and moisture. Children ran around barefoot, dressed in old rags. This exceeded all my expectations.

What I did expect, even though I was tired, was that I'd immediately start my organized activities and begin exploring the area as soon as I arrived at the hotel. The first thing on the list was rappelling down a waterfall - something I had never tried before. I decided to say YES to everything that would take me out of my comfort zone. Que sera, sera!

You Don’t Go Into the Jungle in Flip-Flops

Before I set out on my first tour, I had no idea what I was going to wear. It might sound funny, but my choice of outfits made it obvious that I was in a place like this for the very first time. People kept telling me to definitely bring long pants and a raincoat, which made no sense to me.

If I was supposed to be rappelling down a waterfall, how could I possibly wear long pants? And a raincoat, really? I regretted not listening to their advice when all sorts of monstrous insects started biting me and leaving red marks all over my body.

I was even more surprised when I realized that flip-flops were not suitable for this environment either. It didn’t take long for me to understand why.

Paths Through the Wilderness

After an hour’s drive, we arrived at a private property from where we set off through the jungle toward the waterfall. Still tired but even more euphoric, I followed the improvised path covered with leaves and mud. My eyes were wide open, completely focused on the new and exotic surroundings.

I kept watching in front of me, so I wouldn’t step on something poisonous that could harm me in an instant. I struggled for every breath, as the humidity was almost unbearable and I was not experienced with such terrain. I walked exclusively on the beaten path. I saw all kinds of insects and listened to some unusual, powerful sounds I had never heard before. There I was, right in the middle of nowhere, doing my best to fit in and soak up all the crazy, wild stuff around me.

Watch Out, Tarantula!

Just as I was getting close to the water, I saw the ugliest and biggest spider I had ever seen in my life. It was the size of a rugby ball. I froze instantly. There was no way I could take another step. A big, black, hairy spider stood in front of me, completely still. My heart leapt into my throat, and the adrenaline that was already surging through my body reached its peak. What should I do now? If it bites me, I’m done for.

Seeing this, the guide came over, looked ahead to see what had paralyzed me, and then smiled and said, “What’s wrong? It’s just a tarantula. Jump over it.” If looks could kill, both the guide and the spider would have been dead.

Just a tarantula? Jump over it? Do you even realize what kind of danger I’m in?!

Just a moment later, the spider vanished in the blink of an eye. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my mind told me I had to adapt to my surroundings. Otherwise, I wouldn’t survive in this environment.

Environments That Change You

The only conclusion I drew after this encounter, which left me in disbelief for the entire evening, was that this was no coincidence - it was the result of my searching and openness. The outcome of my curiosity, following my intuition, persistence and courage. I was ready to experience, feel and see all of this. When the soul is ready for new experiences, opportunities appear.

I entered my hotel room and collapsed onto the bed. The whole village grew quiet. At one point, complete silence reigned. For the first time, I could hear absolutely every sound of nature - every note of the wind, the sound of warm rain, birds, insects, everything that existed around me, both known and unknown. I had gone through the initiation of the Peruvian jungle, faced it, adapted to it and began to respect it.

At the end of that day, it was remarkably easy to fall asleep to the sounds of nature, because I had become one with it. That night, my vibration was in harmony with the vibration of the wilderness.

I felt that I had become one with the Universe.